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Toshi had not felt such pain for a long time. Spiritual Human or not, getting hit by a truck travelling at 100 is not a pleasant experience. He was being declared a medical miracle but he didn't feel especially miraculous, cooped up in bed with a morphine drip making him feel all woozy and spaced out. He actually just felt like a mess. He wasn't sure what was real and what was fake any more. His mind kept buzzing through his memories, plucking them out at random. He tossed and turned and once or twice the doctors came in and increased his dosage, seemingly convinced that he could tolerate non-human dosages- little did he realize it was due to him struggling with what seemed to be super human strength to break free. His body kept flashing a dark red- Ianto, the dark persona that lived inside him was using the opportunity to try and take over. Kanaboshi and Kasei, however, were doing their best to stop them all the while, Toshi's mind slipped and drifted further and further back into itself, spinning up memories none of which he was even sure if they were true. It seemed to him that truly he'd experienced a lot of hardship during his life- and spirits did nothing to help in that regard.
Toshi stretched. He sat up on his futon matress, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He'd been up way too late last night, drinking sake with his student friends. ArSoc were known in touhou for their outrageous knights out and especially their fieldtrips. Toshi was now feeling the effects of that as he got up, and staggered about. He wasn't sure if he was still drunk or just massively hung over. Either way he staggered over to a kitchen drawer that contained some cocodamol and took four of them with a big glass of water, before going back to his bed.
"It's your own fault, you know that." Kasei.
"Oh shush you." He replied, wincing at the loudness of his internal monologuing voice. He approached his bed, and clambered under the covers, still half-asleep. It was then, however, that he felt something warm touching his leg. He rolled away and peered cautiously to see what on earth it was.
It was a girl - she rolled over to face him, giggling. He gulped at her from across the futon mattress and she looked at him with a smile. A million things raced through his head. Who was this girl? And why was she in his bed!? Dear god had they done something? He sincerely hoped not, and she kept smiling at him.
"Hello". he said awkwardly after a second. She inched closer and he moved away.
"Hey handsome." she told him, shuffling closer again. He moved away, but he was rapidly running out of futon. "Did you sleep well?" she asked him and he nodded.
"Uuh..." he started and she drew closer to him, placing a finger on his lips. He was glad that he wore pajamas - and that she had the sense to as well.
"I'm Kanako's sister, Emiko." she explained. He nodded. Kanako was a girl who was in his tutorials, she'd been out with them the previous night. She was a bit better than Toshi at theory-motive analysis and the sociological elements of their course but he was the best at comparative linguistics and geo-climate comparisons. How her sister was in his bed, though, he had no idea. He was worried - he had no idea how old she was. Emiko sensed his distress and smiled, wrapping an arm around him. His painkillers still hadn't kicked in.
"I'm not jailbait, if that's what you're wondering." she said laughing and he sighed with relief. That was his main worry, Toshi didn't want to go to jail. He was sure Kana and Kasei could look after him.
Both of them were currently absence from his consciousness, out of some sort of strange jealousy whenever he was with a woman, not that he was really with Emiko but still. "In fact, even if I were, it wouldn't make a difference. You fell asleep almost as soon as you got in." she said, matter-of-factly.
"Anyway, thanks for putting me up, I'll make you some breakfast." she told him, with a smile. Toshi lay silent while she explained this. The painkillers had began to kick in and he was thinking a little more clearly now. It would be nice not to have to make his own breakfast for once.
"Thanks Emi-chan." he said. "I'll give you a lift home after." she flashed a pearly white smile at him. "But I think I have a lecture at three." he said, scratching as his slight stubble. Not enough to shave yet. Despite his pain being gone, he still felt a dark feeling in his head, like something really bad was going to happen today. Breakfast was delicious. Toshi made a mental note to have Emiko around again. It turned out that she was actually Kanako's twin, hence the not-jailbait thing. She was studying History, and so they had a lot to talk about, especially as the focus for both of their degrees was somewhat similar.
They chatted about Kanako, and she tactfully avoided his lack of parentals, which he didn't really mind either way. He still missed them both a great deal but he knew that talking about them would preserve their memories and imprint them into his head.
Afterwards, they lounged about indolently. Entirely sure his hangover was cured, Toshi didn't quite understand what the strange bleak fog in his head was and it made him more than a little uncomfortable. Kanaboshi and Kasei were silent. It was a little unnerving but he had Emi for company and so he could live with it. It was refreshing that, for once, he could talk without accidentally saying something out loud he meant to say to his familiars.
Later, he drove Emiko home. Her and Kanako shared an apartment in the city, and he whistled as he pulled up. He didn't know his friend lived in such a nice place. She thanked him, before getting out of the car. Almost as an afterthought, she turned around, and leaned back in, and gave Toshi a kiss. Her lips were soft and she smelt nice, like fruits or flowers - he didn't really know which, and he felt her nose touching his.
"Thanks for a great night Toshi-kun. We'll have to do it again some time." she said, before skipping away up her path. He sat, momentarily dazed, his cheeks flushed red. He sat there for around twenty minutes before he remembered that he had a lecture to attend, and so he turned the engine over, and drove off, his thoughts still with Emiko.
The lecture was dull; differences in ancient architecture between Honshu and Ryukyu. It did little to lift Toshi's mood. He had been feeling bubbly and happy after Emi's kiss but the same pressing darkness from before was like a dark thundercloud over his head, souring his mood and making him increasingly bitter. He had stormed into the lecture hall and taken his seat with such anger that those around him sidled away awkwardly. Toshi was usually well-respected and even popular amongst his peers, who had all been looking forward to discussing the previous evening's events, but they recognised when someone was in a bad mood.
"Where are you two?" he called into his head. There was no response. He realized that he should have been worried, but instead, Toshi was merely annoyed at the absence of his two familiar spirits, and he was angry at them for leaving him when he really could have used their companionship - it was as if a part of him were missing.
The lecturer prattled on, and Toshi became increasingly restless. He considered going out for air but instead sat and diligently took notes that became increasingly messy and scrawled, as his hand began to tremble. The trembling grew worse and after a while became a violent shaking, that went through his whole body. He was scarcely conscious, he felt nothing but a towering rage and an urge to kill - a mad blood-lust. His eyes rolled back in his head and foam dribbled out of his mouth.
The lecturer raced upwards and students rushed forward to help. They weren't sure what was wrong - no-one knew Toshi to have epilepsy or any kind of similar condition. He lay against the little desk in front of him, the spasms making his limbs flail out wildly.
It was someone called Koji that took the hit. He pushed through the others and dragged Toshi out into the stairs-y bit between the rows of seats, while Toshi was still spasming about. He was barely conscious now, but he felt a broiling rage, like the thundercloud above his head were crackling with lightning, and his anger boiled up and over, and he could feel his will building, and a a golden yellow barrier was clad about his fist. Koji exclaimed at the sudden appearance of the thing, and asked Toshi if he was all right.
Toshi punched him. However, the force of his punch was so great, and its power augmented by the solidarity of the barrier upon his hand that Koji was thrown across the room, to crash into the wall on the opposite end of the lecture theatre. The others, at that point, pinned him down. As far as they were aware, it had been a muscle spasm, they had no idea what was happening inside Toshi's mind. He snarled and roared, and, slowly, starting from his heart, his flesh began to change colour.
It was a dark colour, the same as a rich red wine, or blood, and Toshi's usually builder's tea complexion was stained with it. It crept, in spidery patterns all over him, before widening. No-one saw because they were all trying to hold him down, as his thrashing grew monumentally powerful. After a single heave, he threw the students off, and stood up. He looked at Koji, who was heaped in the corner.
The rage had subsided, and his head was now clear - the red retreated, vanquished from his flesh, but Toshi still had a blinding headache. His friends and classmates looked at him in confusion but he fled, wide-eyed, afraid to hurt any more of his friends.
He ran to his car, turned the engine over and put his foot on the pedal, skidding away from Touhou, from people he could hurt. There was a dark boom of laughter in his head, and his headache was like someone was hammering his skull open with a railroad spike. He wove through the traffic only half-concentrating on the road. He didn't even know where he was going, he simply drove.
After a while, he pulled up next to a park, that wasn't too far from his Karakura house. There was no-one about at this time of day and he collapsed out of his car, onto the scorching hot road. It was definitely summer, but Toshi didn't care about the weather, or the heat. He needed to find what was wrong with him; what had caused him to injure his friend. He thought back to the terrible cloud that had pressed over him in his inner world - his parabola. Had it reached the pristine desert of his existence? He crawled over to a bank of grass, in the shade under a tree. He was pretty sure his car was locked. He couldn't really tell though. It didn't matter any more.
He lay down, and attempted to sink into his inner world. It was difficult, the pounding of his head and the torrential rage within him prohibited him from thinking clearly. He found it nigh on impossible to find the place inside him where he could settle into the parabola. He struggled with his internal psyche for a while, before he finally mastered himself, and shut his eyes, letting the wind play across his blonde hair. It was still warm, despite the fact that he was in the shade, and he calmed his nerves, letting the tension out of his body as he settled down, and breathed out.
He entered his inner world.
The parabola was in utter chaos. Toshi emerged into his usually bright dusty world, standing upon a platform. Immediately he was lashed by the rain and the wind, and bitten by the hail. There was a howling noise. He saw vortexes of wind, churning away at the sea that now lay in his desert world. Worst of all was the sheet lightning that raked at the sky and the awful spikes of it that lanced the broiling sea and the sodden island plateaus. Toshi could sense a kind of dark presence. He looked around, squinting to see in the torrent.
Then he saw him. He was a great red monster His hair was gleaming silver, and he had two large antlers. He wore a loin cloth and had claven hooves. He was tall - an incredible eight feet in height and he was stood, at the edge of the plateau, his silhouette occasionally illuminated against the backdrop of lightning forks. A shudder went down Toshi's spine, even more so when he saw two cages of light, holding both Kasei and Kanaboshi captive. They cried out to him when they saw him, and he gazed at the malevolent demon that was inside his mind. The dark cloud he had seen all that time ago had come, and now he had to face his inner demon.
But Toshi wasn't ready yet, he hadn't prepared himself for this. He had never felt more alone in his life. This morning, with Emiko - it seemed like a world away. He'd have to apologize to Koji later. He stepped forward but the demon stood, facing outwards, paying him absolutely no need. Toshi was fine with that - he needed a moment to mentally steel himself anyhow.
His voice was deep and modulated, as if there were many voices speaking at once. As he spoke, the rain stopped, and the terrible black clouds became illuminated with red, washing the landscape in a bloody glow. The still-crashing waves dashed their sanguine liquid over the plateau Toshi and the demon were standing on. Toshi shuddered once more. It took all the willpower he possessed not to run, run as far away as he could right then.
Except he could never truly run, not from something that was inside of him. He'd shown already how damaging he could be, and he knew that if he ran away now, this dark part of his soul would win, and all would be lost. No doubt he would be as bad as a hollow, and would inevitably be exterminated by shinigami. But who would he kill before then? No, Toshi knew that he had no choice. He had to face this one down.
"What is your name?" He asked it, over the still-howling wind. The demon raised his hand, laying his hand flat, and splaying out his fingers, bearing night black fingernails. As he did, the wind died down. The landscape was still silent. There were no shadows; everywhere was uniformly crimson. The demon laughed.
"My name is Ianto." it told him. It was chilling. The name sounded like a gong going off in Toshi's head. He had always known it, somehow, it had always been a part of him.
Somehow, knowing the demon's name for definite strengthened Toshi's resolve. His spine hardened, and despite the goosebumps erupting over his arms, and down his back, and the fast-paced beating of his heart, he knew that he definitely had the resolve required to face this demon. Kasei was glaring angrily at both Toshi and Ianto and Kanaboshi was sitting in her cage, crying. It was when he noticed her tears that Toshi became especially angry.
The demon turned around, so that Toshi might witness his full horror. He had four evil angular eyes, and his cruel face was framed by his white/silver hair. His mouth was twisted into a foul grin, more of a malevolent snarl, as he looked at Toshi, who was nearly steaming with rage, his hackles raised and a look of hateful determination upon his face.
"I suppose that you know my name already." he said, between gritted teeth.
"I neither know nor care what you are called." Ianto replied, with an air of callous indifference. His eyes glowed red, just like everything else in his parabola at that point. Toshi found it to be sickly and unhealthy. He would love to have the blazing golden dawn and rusty sand dunes of his familiar desert back, and not this tepid, rancid ocean and bloody sky.
"Who are you to lecture me on what is wise?" the demon spat, his words loathsome and full of contempt. Toshi had an idea at that point.
"So you would assume you are wiser than I?" he asked and it laughed, pitilessly.
"Of course I am, you wretched fool." Its voice was rake-y and coarse. It was like nails on a chalkboard to Toshi. He was beginning to see how he could dredge some information out of Ianto before he made a decision about what to do with the menace in his mind.
"So then, as a being wiser than I, you must be external." Toshi reasoned. "That is - I can kill you without any danger to myself." He surmised, more confidently than he felt. The demon roared, and he took a step back, as his familiars cowered against their cages.
"You bastard." Ianto shouted. "I am you! I am the perfect you; the powerful you. I am what results from all that you suppress. I am not derived from you... IT IS THE OTHER WAY AROUND!" Toshi was unphazed by that terrible sound, while his familiars were flung to the far corner of their prisons.
"Then that means... That you can't kill me either." Toshi said triumphantly. Ianto screeched terribly at that point, once again, running toward Toshi. He attempted to punch the blonde student in his face, but Toshi was ready. He dodged to the side, using his arm to brush the demon's fist aside and aim his own uppercut toward its chin. Ianto grabbed his fist in mid-air and began to twist it back. Toshi buckled under the pressure, and fell to his knees. Ianto grinned in triumph, but Toshi used his free hand to smash into the demon's knee and dislocate his kneecap. Ianto screamed in pain and leapt back, while Toshi leapt up and kicked him in the face.
The demon wrenched his knee back into its socket through sheer force of muscle, and Toshi swore, exploding into expletives. He focused tightly and attempted to use one of Kanaboshi's barriers, but he saw her cage crackle with a kind of electricity-type thing. No using his familiars' powers. Ianto started toward him; his wrist was sore now. The demon aimed a kick at his chest which he unsuccessfully tried to dodge.
There was something in the force of that kick that wrenched him out of his Hobotsusen - his parabola, and he awoke, back in the park. He was covered in sweat - he looked around him, horror on his face.
Instead of laying under a tree, Toshi was looking at a scene of destruction. Large clots of dirt had been pulled up, and there were broken pieces of playground equipment everywhere. He noticed several children entangled in broken park equipment and he held his breath, half expecting to see gorm or something that would haunt him forever, but the children seemed to be okay. No-one had been hurt but there were people screaming, and running away from him. Everything was tinted red and his vision appeared to be "throbbing".
The children had been tangled in bent metal, trapping them but they seemed mostly safe. There were a few mothers buried to their necks in the dug-up dirt, but Toshi realized that there must have been some part of him that had refused to let Ianto hurt anyone, but he wasn't sure if that would happen every time. Toshi realized that he needed help.
He looked down at his hands; they were still a dark red colour, but it was beginning to face. He was awkwardly aware of antlers and long hair, but he realized that they were fading fast; he had to escape. He made a run for it. Several people chased him but Toshi was naturally an agile guy, and not only that, but he was physically at the peak of fitness, too. He flipped over the fence, and landed face-first on the other side, but he could take it. He immediately flipped himself back onto his feet, and carried on running, before climbing a building and making his escape, much to the amazement of his pursuers.
He awoke with a scream. It was the middle of the night. He'd been placed on his own ward, but the doctors weren't sure what to do. Some orderlies hurriedly began to add more clamps to hold him in place, while pumping him full of more drugs, wanting to simply keep him alive without letting him hurt anyone. They had no idea what the problem was, and Toshi had no conception of the world as he thrashed around, swinging cold sweat everywhere as he did so, his whole body moist with it at this point. He had been running a fever but that was gone now and he was ice cold, possibly an unforseen side effect of all of the painkillers.
"NO! I won't let you hurt them!" he screamed, his voice a strange alien combination of his own and Ianto's strangely modular rasp, as if he were speaking through an electronic filter. They looked worriedly at him- concerned that perhaps he was going through a kind of psychotic episode but a look at his eyeballs which were rolled back in his head showed that he was clearly just experiencing nightmares. He woke for but a moment and looked at them, before passing out, and all was still.
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