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Post by Hiroko Takagi on Dec 16, 2015 21:32:20 GMT
Name: Kihon hoi Ninchi-do | lit. Cardinal Direction Awareness Class: Reiatsu Control Tier: III Type: Passive Range: 50m Description: Hiroko is naturally blessed with an affinity for wind, capable of detecting cardinal directions sufficiently by tracing the patterns of the wind. Patterns and physical form of wind can be detected down to an accurate approximation, allowing him to catch on to the rushing air around an opponent as they move against the wind and displace the natural air in the environment with physical form.
Bankai Name: Hanran no Senjūmin-fuu | lit. Indigenous Winds of Revolt
Bankai Spirit: Hanran no Senjumin-fuu takes on the form of a great wolf made whole, though it is uncertain which wolf of the two in his tale he begets. He suggests that "it is for Hiroko to decide," and refuses to dwell on that conversation. As such he is very withdrawn, before and after, though only after a great conflict which need be resolved to master the Bankai.
Bankai Appearance: The sword becomes even longer, reaching nearly as far as the wielder themselves. The shaft is riveted with small holes that let the wind whistle through them. The tsuba is gone with the wind, as taking up this blade is to relinquish fear of failure. Unless explicitly impossible or otherwise incapable, the zanpakuto suffuses itself into the air with the pieces missing from its rivets, giving it power to create a storm cell sufficient for masking and supplementing his own techniques with spontaneous flashes of lightning in the distance before fading into black smog.
Bankai Abilities:
Name: Hinan Kaminari Geki | lit. Denouncing Thunder Strike Class: Zanpakuto Spirit, Bankai Tier: IV~VI Type: Defensive Range: 75m Description: Using the zanpakuto as a medium one sets the wind against any incoming force and attempts to push it back, typically gauged to overwhelm the force in question and send it crashing back with the intent of returning to sender. Moves at Cero speed gushing through the air like a pressurized shockwave which is more audible than visual.
Name: Kaminari Kyouda | lit. Lightning Smite Class: Zanpakuto Spirit, Bankai Tier: IV~VI Type: Offensive, Binding Range: 50m Description: Striking at an opponent with a stab or slash sends out a straight shot or pulsing wave of lightning which will penetrate and electrocute a target severely upon direct contact, but when sending pulsating waves one loses the piercing property to attempt ensnaring multiple targets in the proceeding electrocution. In extreme disadvantages it is known to stun victims, (see advantages & technique guide for more information.) The attack arcs across the distance between himself and the target at Cero speed, though it hardly gives off a sound for how brilliantly it shines.
Name: Hikōkinshikūiki | lit. No Fly Zone Class: Zanpakuto Spirit, Bankai Tier: III Type: Passive Range: 80m Description: The winds generated passively by the onset of Hiroko's Bankai naturally force an opponent(s) to suffer a strength decrease. Every movement seems to ebb twice as much of their natural torpidity despite producing a fraction of the results in their power. This results in a 0.5 strength disadvantage across all applications such as swordplay, hand-to-hand combat, and other masteries or techniques which are dependent on physical strength.
Name: Kanshaku Arashi | lit. Tantrum Tempest Class: Zanpakuto Spirit, Bankai Tier: VII Type: Offensive Range: 100m (25m-50m-75m diameter) Description: This technique requires ambient weather conditions, but is sudden as far as normal storm conditions are concerned, allowing the user to turn the tables by rapidly enveloping nearby targets in an overwhelming show of force which is sustained for a three (3) post duration which the effects of progressively worsen. The cooldown is six (6) posts.
25m. Abruptly surrounding himself in a cyclone he becomes a torrential tribute to the untapped power of the wind. This shroud will prevent foes from assailing the caster and exert their wind control over vast distances, pulling in nearby objects and forcing the storm's growth further. This is the weakest form of the storm, and although Offensive is more about subjecting the target to intensive winds they will have difficulty escaping.
50m. Once the storm begins its growth, it violently begins to downpour with rain. It never stops falling, and is instead thrown around by the wind endlessly. It freezes in the winds becoming hail, which can lacerate nearby targets nigh indiscriminately. Only the caster is safe from these forces as they carve into the terrain in a downpour which worsens with every post.
75m. In the final stage the cyclone has reached epic proportions, threatening to swallow everything into a massive vortex which means to shred the fibers of one's being apart from the surface downwards until all that remains is polished bones and scattered debris. It would swallow up entire buildings and tarnish skyscrapers if used without caution.
There are more than a few repercussions for using this ability. For one, Hiroko cannot invoke Kido using any incantations or else risks injuring his lungs from the intense vacuum (this can be trained to alleviate the effect.) There is also no chance for him to use Stepping techniques unless he abandons the vortex. Though if the cyclone is used independently from Hiroko, there are no side-effects, though the storm moves very slowly at one-half Cero speed instead of potentially Cero speed at full speed.
Kihon hoi Ninchi-do | lit. Cardinal Direction Awareness - This needs a few changes. Because its so acute as you state, it can only be 200m while he is focused on sensing and not in combat, as the amount of information would be too much to process within that large of an area. In combat it needs to have a size more similar to an AoE technique. Also remove the section about it increasing your reiatsu sensing abilities, as this would fall under boosting a mastery via a tech and is disallowed.
Bankai Appearance - The fist sentence here is a bit confusing. Are you saying it is as long as you are tall?
Hinan Kaminari Geki | lit. Denouncing Thunder Strike - Again a wording thing. You say it lasts for one post, but then mention it being used continuously to push someone back. Which is it? and if its the second you need a duration.
Hikōkinshikūiki | lit. No Fly Zone - This was discussed with other mods and is denied. Air walking abilities are considered stepping so denying it completely would fall under decreasing or removing someone's mastery via a technique which is denied.
In extreme disadvantages it is known to stun victims.
how many disadvantages... and how bad is the stun?
Name: Hikōkinshikūiki | lit. No Fly Zone
When you say 0.5 strength disadvantage, I know what you mean, but when you say "Across all applications" you lose me there, because what exactly are you decreasing? Just strength, speed, sight, hearing, reaction time? I know this may be redundant, or even slightly ridiculous, however, I've seen these minor misses affect something larger later down the line. An exact target for the debuff would be appreciated.
Name: Kanshaku Arashi | lit. Tantrum Tempest
This one had me pondering more about than any other technique; while it isn't completely impossible to obtain the effects as described, by in the proceeding order as you have laid them out is. Once you use your tech V technique, you are locked out of anything above it. For this to even make sense, you'd have to feed a new technique at a higher tier level for this to even work properly, meaning that there are technically three techniques in one, which is a big no, even if the effects are the same but just in bigger and more dangerous scales. Denied
Post by Hiroko Takagi on Dec 22, 2015 22:06:34 GMT
1. Site seems to have a very strict rule set around stunning, so I expected to only use it when fighting lower-ranked opponents. I would've resorted to the guide and expected anyone close to my rank or higher to be impervious to stunning, since the stuns are advantage based on the guide iirc
2. When I say across all applications, I mean this: A punch (Hakuda) at mastery is going to suffer an advantage loss. A sword swing (Weapon Skill) would also be affected simultaneously. Anything that would imply that your strength is being used to make the attack. I'm aware it doesn't affect anything other than strength, but I wanted to be clear that this pertains to even certain techniques depending on their wording (if it implies the user's physical force is required, mostly.) With that in mind, does the wording make more sense, or should I expand upon that description and retinker that wording? (I already did a little bit but not much.)
3. I have remade Tantrum Tempest a Tier VII with a three post duration. I have readjusted the range values to make it more clear the size of the technique.
Hikōkinshikūiki | lit. No Fly Zone - Because this is a passive it is also an AoE around your body. Techs like that have a maximum range of 50m. -Also your new wording for this ability violates the rules as you cannot have a tech that lowers a persons masteries since masteries govern skill not actual strength. -Debuffs are described exactly as buffs are, so you dont put "0.5 reduction in strength" you put "2x debuff to strength" -If I might make a suggestion, change the range as I said above then just replace
"This results in a 0.5 strength disadvantage across all applications such as swordplay, hand-to-hand combat, and other masteries or techniques which are dependent on physical strength."
with
"This results is a 2x debuff to strength while within 50m of Hiroko which raises to a 3x when within 10m"
That would be fine for approval and actually stronger then what you currently have.
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